My last few newsletters have dealt with some ‘tough’ stuff and so as we approach the end of a challenging year, I thought it was time for some humour. As a personnel manager in the manufacturing sector I’ve heard my fair share of ‘great excuses’ but after doing a ‘Google’ search discovered some I’d never heard of and which totally cracked me up. Hope they give you a chuckle also.
I can’t come to work today because….
- My wife won’t let me – she says there are too many jobs needing to be done around the house
- My dog just swallowed my bus pass
- A refrigerator fell on my head and gave me a migraine
- I forgot that you hired me
- I was in line at a coffee shop when a truck transporting flour backed up and dumped flour into my convertible.
- My cat is having a nervous break-down so I can’t leave her
- I accidentally flushed away my car keys
- My cervix kept me up all night (this was a male employee calling)
- My wife is pregnant and I had labour pains all night
- I had to deliver a baby on the way to work
- A skunk got into the house and sprayed all my work uniforms
- It’s too cold to leave the house
- It’s too nice outside to be shut in an office
- I feel too emotionally upset after watching ‘The Hunger Games’
- My wife put every last pair of my underpants in the washing machine
- My doctor said I needed more vitamin D so I’m taking the day off to go to the beach
- My cat unplugged my alarm clock
- I forgot I was getting married today
- I have to attend the funeral of my wife’s cousin’s dog cos I’ve been asked to be a pall bearer
But my absolute favourite is this one:
- My son fell asleep on wet concrete; we’re waiting for the fire brigade to come and chip him out
Have a chuckle.
Ann Andrews CSP